Last night I ignored the several worthy movies still on the DVR (Three Billboards, The Post, etc) and instead remembered that a few weeks ago I’d started to re-watch my boxed set of Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy, getting through the first movie. Thought I’d take a look at the second; watched the first disc (90 minutes) before I yawned my way to bed. I don’t think I’ve seen the second and third movies since I saw them in the theater. Anyway it held my attention pretty well. The CGI Gollum is a delight to watch.
Today it is exactly a week since my wife died. (You know, I should have designated that “Day 0” instead of “Day 1”. Then this would be Day 7. Well, too late now.) For the first time I went to the same coffee shop we went to on Sunday mornings for many years. Not exactly a mistake to do this, but I was feeling pretty emotional while parking, walking in, and ordering. I don’t want to avoid such trigger occasions! I need to walk through them, re-experience them in the new context, so I can reclaim them for my new circumstances.
For the past year, in fact, Marian had us avoiding that coffee shop (the PA Cafe in Midtown) because it has become so successful with groups of friends who sit around big tables and talk at high volumes. I was a bit earlier than usual this time, but by the time I left it was, I admit, getting unpleasantly noisy. Next weekend I’ll go to the place we frequented the last six months, which is much quieter.
At ten I drove to the Computer History Museum to lead my first docent tour of the new life. I didn’t expect any emotional distress, because this activity has always been something I did alone. And indeed there were no upwellings of grief to spoil my presentation as I led a dozen Comp. Sci. students from UCSC through the place. Of course there was nobody at home to ask how it went. But that was after.
I noticed that a number of events I knew were coming had disappeared from my Google calendar. (Side-note: for decades we posted upcoming appointments and events on a physical calendar on the kitchen wall. Earlier this year, with so many medical appointments to track, I finally set up an online calendar so we’d have this info in the laptops we both used. So much more convenient; should have done it ten years ago.)
Well, but where had those events gone? Doh! of course, I’d shut down Marian’s calendar and unlinked it from mine. What had disappeared from my calendar were all the events she had posted to her calendar. So I went through and re-posted the concerts she’d booked, and all the basketball games, which had been her domain.
Then I caught up a little pending maintenance: there is a set of small, nesting tables, more Danish Modern, two of which had developed loose joints. Glued them. Going to do some more leather recovery, too. This Leather CPR product is doing a world of good for the old green cushions. I need to finish the first pass, and will probably do a second.
Tomorrow I must start work on some of my more substantive projects. But it’s the weekend now, ok?